Villain of the week
I sometimes get impatient with myself and my shortcomings.
Over time, I've gotten slightly more accepting of my shortcomings, and don't think they all need solving. Sometimes it feels like I accept from a place of self-compassion and other times from being not ready to change for whatever reason.
I have noticed a pattern though. Even if I don't try to change everything at once, it seems I focus on specific shortcomings.
A Villain of the week. Recurring topics that come to mind are diet, exercise, work, dating, and screen time.
I try to direct some effort at it, and for a while things go well, but then life happens, and some combination of depression, apathy, frustration, impatience, or just realizing I don't want the change1 bad enough at the moment makes the effort unsustainable.
Then that Villain exits stage right, maybe things feel alright for a bit, and then the next comes on.
Sometimes I get the sense that, when looking at myself from an outside perspective, it looks as though I'm flailing about on stage. A lot of effort, but the plot doesn't feel like it's going forward.
Is flailing a part of the human condition?
One thing that's given me a lot of comfort lately is that I know I'm not alone. This happens to everyone.
For you and I both, it'll all resolve eventually.
Either:
- You will bring the lasting change about, or
- You'll genuinely accept it and it'll no longer be a Villain, or
- You'll have bigger things to care about instead.